Nearness

"Gracious souls are never perfectly at ease except they are in a state of nearness to Christ; for when they are away from Him they lose their peace" Charles Spurgeon (SME)


17 This I say therefore, and testify in the Lord, that you should not walk from now on as other nations walk, in the vanity of their mind, 18 having the understanding darkened, being alienated from the life of God through the ignorance that is in them, because of the blindness of their heart. 19 For they, being past feeling, have given themselves up to lust, to work all uncleanness with greediness. 20 But you have not so learned Christ, 21 if indeed you have heard Him and were taught by Him, as the truth is in Jesus.
Eph 4:17-21


I am simple minded and slow to understand so much. I know what Spurgeon is speaking of though in the passage above. I feel unfounded when i have not been with the Lord even for one day. The feeling is like loosing sleep and for sake of not sleeping, not eating, and for sake of not eating, not sleeping yet again. It is a sickness that can be healed by nothing but forcing food in small amounts and choosing sleep for the simple fact that sleep must be had. Like unto it, renewing my mind (rather the Spirit of my mind, as the author of Eph would say) is a like task, to allow myself to be fed by the Holy Spirit, every word that comes from the mouth of God

Grace in this and so many other failings i have is beyond my comprehension to the simple nature and law that "yes, (i) deserve to die, and to burn in hell" (thanks Samuel L Jackson, for the vivid imagery there). Grace would not be grace otherwise, and rather Mercy (the not being dealt the retribution we deserve for our treachery) is what i must praise the Lord for today. C.S. Lewis said "Indeed, if we consider the unblushing promises of reward and the staggering nature of the rewards promised in the Gospels, it would seem that Our Lord finds our desires, not too strong, but too weak. We are half-hearted creatures, fooling about with drink and sex and ambition when infinite joy is offered us, like an ignorant child who wants to go on making mud pies in a slum because he cannot imagine what is meant by the offer of a holiday at the sea. We are far too easily pleased." (Weight of Glory). The focus of course being moreover the lesser part of that passage, that we fool about with drink and sex and ambition. How human is that? We spend most of our lives focused on the lesser things of God (so to speak, and rather impertinently and boldly so), in mercy. We (I often) call it Grace, but we are mis-naming what we are dealing and being dealt with. Grace is defineed in websterr 1. The exercise of love, kindness, mercy, favor; disposition to benefit or serve another; favor bestowed or privilege conferred. Used in the Word, Grace is the redeeming power and medium in which Abba deals with his children. Eph 2:8 "For it is by Grace you are saved through faith, and THAT not of yourselves, it is a gift of God". Grace is so much more than the mercy used to forego our punishment! Grace encompasses the heart of God, that "Blessing I will bless you!" and "Ask and you shall receive". Those are not as trite as the mind would lie to us to say; The heart of God is to give us EVERY good thing. We don't expect enough, therefore we don't go on to grasp the greater things, because we're still fumbling about with the sin that so easily entangles.

Through the Old Testament, the phrase "grace in your sight" is used always to someone of greater authority, and returned by request or by unrequested favor with some sort of gift. Grace is everything Abba uses to deal with those of us redeemed. WHY do we function so much in mercy? Mercy is a part of Grace, but not the integral thing. Heb 6:1 says "Therefore, having left the discourse of the beginning of Christ, let us go on to full growth, not laying again the foundation of repentance from dead works, and of faith toward God..". Repentance from dead works, through the gracious gift of mercy that we do not get what we deserve. This is only the first step in the great promise contained in this verse! Why do we (I) stay in the necessity of mercy so much. 2 Cor 2:14 says "But thanks be to God who always leads us in triumph in Christ, and through us diffuses the fragrance of His knowledge in every place", how much more encouragement do we need as men and women of a promise that we are to take dominion of this world in his name? How opulent, how glorious, how obvious is the presence of the Holy Spirit in us who believe?!

My conclusion in all this, in my own heart and mind, is that to truly "hunger and thirst" for Christ, we must be filled by time as Spurgeon says later on in the same passage "in intercourse" with Y'shua. The depth of intimacy that is required by our spirit toward the Lord to be "filled" as the beatitudess describe is in fact, nothing short of wholely exclusive and very private affectionate loving between the Lord and his beloved. But we must come to him for this, and as our greatest need, only he can fill it. There the Word says of this time, "If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness." 1 John 9:1. All my unrighteousness could reach the heavens, and it is even less than visible to my God who knows all things and gives me true grace. Could there be a greater gift than all that is encompassed in Grace? How intimate is the confession and forgiving of faults between lovers? What greater gift could our Beloved give us than not only forgiving us, but cleansing us as well.

Father show me the weight of your glory inside the exercise of your grace, and form in me the mind and the heart of Christ, more every day. Teach me to love righteously, graciously, and with authority.