Weddings and shows

colleen is shooting a wedding this afternoon and them shortly afterward we will be heading over to see the homer hiccolm and the rocket boys cd release show. Mainly because colleen wants to shoot it. She just got her new lens, and wow it is huge. It is supposed to do much better with lower light stuations. It is so great to watch her do something that she loves to do, not to mention that she is getting quite good at it.

I am coming off being sick for a couple days, so I still feel a bit light headed and sometimes congested, i am just hanging out and waiting until we can go get some dinner! It is amazon how much you want to eat when your body is healing itself.

In other events, our best friend david has been moved out to cali for about two weeks now, and needless to say, I miss him. Not that we won't visit and vice versa, but having him close by was always something to count on. I think he is doing well there though, it is definitely where the lord directed him so I know he will do well.

wow

ya, i know i haven't posted in forever. but things have just been psycho busy.

this was my reading this morning. wow, talk about how often we do this thing.

"For I was ashamed to require of the king a band of soldiers and horsemen to help us against the enemy in the way: because we had spoken unto the king, saying, The hand of our God is upon all them for good that seek Him; but His power and His wrath is against all them that forsake Him." --Ezra 8:22 A convoy on many accounts would have been desirable for the pilgrim band, but a holy shame-facedness would not allow Ezra to seek one. He feared lest the heathen king should think his professions of faith in God to be mere hypocrisy, or imagine that the God of Israel was not able to preserve His own worshippers. He could not bring his mind to lean on an arm of flesh in a matter so evidently of the Lord, and therefore the caravan set out with no visible protection, guarded by Him who is the sword and shield of His people. It is to be feared that few believers feel this holy jealousy for God; even those who in a measure walk by faith, occasionally mar the lustre of their life by craving aid from man. It is a most blessed thing to have no props and no buttresses, but to stand upright on the Rock of Ages, upheld by the Lord alone. Would any believers seek state endowments for their Church, if they remembered that the Lord is dishonoured by their asking Caesar's aid? as if the Lord could not supply the needs of His own cause! Should we run so hastily to friends and relations for assistance, if we remembered that the Lord is magnified by our implicit reliance upon His solitary arm? My soul, wait thou only upon God. "But," says one, "are not means to be used?" Assuredly they are; but our fault seldom lies in their neglect: far more frequently it springs out of foolishly believing in them instead of believing in God. Few run too far in neglecting the creature's arm; but very many sin greatly in making too much of it. Learn, dear reader, to glorify the Lord by leaving means untried, if by using them thou wouldst dishonour the name of the Lord.

the beach

We went to the beach today, and it was fan-freakin-tastic! We got to play frisbee in the water and swim a bit. Colleen read her book and baked her skin (which looks hotter than you could ever imagine!), and i hung out with david and "topher" who's name is actually christopher, but her does sometimes go by the shorter nickname "topher". The beach was gorgeous, and the water wasn't too terribly cold. There is somethings so completely calming about getting to just lay on the beach and listen to the water as you read a book.

Speaking of books, i am now starting the fourth harry potter book and as always it is very engrossing. so each moment i get away from everything else i manage to read a bit

tonight we had a hang out by the chimenea (sp?) and cook smores evening. We got to spend time with the guys we're staying with (nate, "topher", and stephen) who are awesome guys. These are the type of guys i would hang out with anyways, so it has been great to just chill out with cool people. Plus nate makes a really crazy fire in the chimenea! I really can't wait to get home and get back to the studio though.

waiting in line

We are waiting in line for tatsu, a ride at six flags magic mountain.
this should proove to be the longest wait of the day. Roller coasters are quite interesing. Though i am nearly done with the third harry potter book. I was really close to the end and just got to the twist at the end of the book when we had to take off walking to the park. I have gotten to the point where i really enjoy these books. The last books that I really enjoyed like this were the narnia books by cs lewis.

The day started wonderfully, with spudnuts. I have never had potato donuts before but they were spectacular! I think surely we need to get some of that action going in amarillo.

Ok so here we are a few hours later and I feel like a complete looser. I really don't understand why, but with each ride we went on the worse I started to feel. More than a few times I had to pray to keep from giving everyone else a shower they didn't want. Poor colleen just wanted me to ride all these rides with her and have fun but I finally just had to quit. I still can't get rid of the almost vertigo/queezy feeling in my head and stomach.

The whole thing is quite embarrasing actually. I am really glad that David is here so Colleen has someone to ride with. Still I am really struggling with feeling like an out of shape old disappontment ( largely in myself, not to mention to my wife ). So I am gladly waiting and trying to let my stomach settle while they ride the next big ride. Unfortunately, the iPhone has had some heavy use and only has about 10% battery left, which means I will be left truly to my own devices when it inevitably does die.

In the meantime, I am quite comfortable listening to the fairly decent speaker inthe iPhone playing my calmest playlist. On a side note the guy that was going to teach us to surf had a schedule change and had to cancel on us. I was really looking forward to learning, but there will be a next time.

I have thoroughly enjoyed California, though the one prevailing theme seems to be that I have to get back on tour. Tour was the time that I did things like this, crashing on peoples floors and not having a real plan but just going, it is when I feel closest with the lord and the most alive. I know full well that i am not to let circumstances alter or dictate my state with the lord. The feeling of whT t was the we did on the road, and the taste that some of the similar activities gives my heart just makes me remember feeling alive like that and I don't think I can handle not being there again. I really feel that the wilderness is a good place and it is of the lord, but we arent meant to stay there.

starbucks raised prices

so i am sitting in the doctors office with my grandparents. The news is on and some entirely clueless fox news correspondant while reporting on starbucks raising prices said that in some taste tests mcdonalds coffee actually beat starbucks.


right

why do alarms suck so bad

alarms never wake me up. unless i haven't heard them much before. The one i've been using for the past year or so failed me this morning. As my lovely wife and i were laying in bed, i half remember getting up early in the morning to go to the bathroom or something, but the next thing i remember is waking up at 8 when i had somewhere to be at 9. No big deal right, except the place i had to be was an hour away. Blah. This whole "getting out of bed in the morning" thing is getting on my last nerve.

I think the whole thing started a few nights ago when we decided to stay up til 5 am reading the new harry potter book. Well, actually she read the new one, and i started the first one. Don't tell me, i know i am a bit behind. But i finished the first one just a few hours after she got done with the last one, both of these events happened about 18 hours after we got the books in the first place. So that kinda threw off our sleep schedule. I guess i'm still reeling from that, which might mean that i'm getting old. Of course Colleen and czech are at home right now in bed, catching up on their sleep.

I really enjoyed the first harry potter book. It made me remember how much i love to read, and to imagine the fantastic worlds that writers like that come up with. I have been thinking quite a bit lately about how much i need to read and take time to just sit in quiet. Oddly enough, reading things like that really help me to quiet my spirit, which has been harder to do lately with all the busyness going on work wise and life wise.

The forever movie

so we thought we should go see harry potter at the imax. Sounded good in theory but when they told us they were going to be moving us to the non large non imaxish theatre. Why such an animal exists at an imax theatre , I have no idea. It just seems so wrong. So anyhow after an hour they've finally gotten this thing started.

More details to come

So i am really excited to say that the new harry potter movie is freakin awesome, my wife tells me that the movie wasnt totally accurate but it was still done well. I could say that I've decided that I need to start reading the books, mainly just because I am dying to know what happens next

not sleeping in on vacation

the past few days have been spent in ruidoso with my wife and my mom. We took colleen's new car for it's maiden voyage and i am pleased to say that it has performed quite well. She has been so happy with it that it makes me want to smile. We came up tuesday evening and started early wednesday morning treking through the woods with a gps unit to find plot points set by the forest service. Why? Because they hired colleen to take pictures facing north east south and west.
Then we'll go back after they clear out a bunch of dead wood that could fuel a forest fire, to show what a difference it makes. It is really a pretty cool project, plus hiking through the woods on an adventure like that is just cool to begin with. We had a great time and col shot over 2gb of pictures (obviously more than just the plot point pictures, she shot a bunch of nature and random stuff of us playing around.

as I type this we are cruising somewhere between nowheresville and the middle of nowhere. Colleen is driving and I am on my lovely little iPhone. Believe it or not the Internet access capabilities are amazing. We have been in some seriously random and remote locations and I think we have had full data service nearly the entire time. Now my wife is telling me it is time to switch drivers. I guess i forgot to mention that we are on the way to san antonio to visit family and see warped tour.

Hours later we are at my cousins house and it is two am, wow it is so bedtime.
Random pictures of the trip. Now it is bedtime

ya you guessed it. iPhone! So when are you getting one?

so this post is coming from my new iphone. Yes it is incredible. Czech likes it too.
anyhow my wife suprised me with it as I was leaving work today. My family rocks.

i would post a picture but i'm sure you have seen them

Ouch!

So apparently there are chiggers in san antonio? Crap. This thing hurts. I just found these really small bumps on my leg and my foot. The first one i thought was just an little bump and I inadvertently scratched it. It's kinda crappy.
It appears that fingernail polish kills these things...hrmmmm. Wonder who figured that business out?

I finished a HUGE network bid today. Took over 30 hours in preparation. Feels so good to get it done.

impromptu road trip

My mom came into town this weekend just to pick up a new car. Then she was planning on heading to san antonio to see my aunt, who just had heart surgery. We got a call earlier today though from them saying that my aunt had a seizure early this morning. So after a quick prayer and agreement, colleen and i decided that I needed to come with mom down here to help take care of everything. We ended up not going all the way to SA tonight. So we're in San Angelo (the other SA) staying at a hotel with our girl Czech. We miss colleen quite a bit though :(

This is the first nice, new hotel that i've ever been in (and i've been in a few hotels) that doesn't have wireless access. I have to say that i'm dissapointed and rather freaked because i realize that i've become really really innured to convenience. I only say that because, thanks to ryan hooking me up with his old sony ericson t616 cingular phone, and a little help from howard forums; i'm using the internet through the phone's gprs connection, via bluetooth.
in non geek....i'm a huge geek. I'm ok with it.
Rather than thinking, "oh sweet, i've got an easy way to check e mail, and keep in touch", i'm thinking..."hmmm, how can in use TCP compression to suck more bandwidth out of my phone.....what is the max possible speed for GPRS? Is that a hard/fast rule? Can i bend it?"
Need I re-iterate. GEEK :)

We'll head back on friday night, so that i can get busy doing a network install for victory church. 15 beautiful iMac 17" apple machines, running windows xp pro.....on one hand, freakin cool! on the other; dang...what a waste.
Either way, it's a living :)

This week will be great because i'll get a chance to focus on some consulting stuff (network proposals in particular) and catching up on some seriously needed time with Abba.


this is the one i miss right now

If you don't laugh

this is so dumb...but you have to love it.

i can't believe this

this has been the most ridiculous day.

We're supposed to get this magazine art done today, and at the same time, i have 3 appointments to put out fires and install new stuff. Not to mention that I have to get a network proposal done. sucky. I really hate having all this stuff on my plate and never really getting it all done. I love having the work, but it doesn't leave much time for a whole lot of other fun stuff.

I've decided that i want to take a short one or two day road trip to the blue hole in Santa Rosa, NM. It's this really cool...well, hole in the ground, that has natural spring water seeping up through it at an amazing rate. It's about 60 ft across, 80 ft deep, and circular in shape. Not to mention that there are some really cool small cliffs to dive off of, or just jump if you're cowardly to dive :)

I have been retouching some cool pictures that col took. She's getting used to the new camera and getting ready to take over the world. David has been extremely helpful to her, which is awesome. She shot this show the other night (not that i make a habit of going to shows regularly, hehe) with Showbread, The Showdown, Chasing Victory, and Cherubim Seat. Those pictures are on her Capture!studios myspace. The funny thing about the showdown is that they are a complete 80's metal band. Pool party glasses, gloves with the fingers cut out, ear piercing guitar solos. David got a huge kick out of these guys, I think that this particular image is "mid-head-bang", so you might have to imagine the scene..hehe....sadly, they were talented far and away more than most other musicians these days..myself included!


Other large events. Car hunt. Ya, the little focus is on it's last leg i think. So we're going to use the money from some installs i have coming up to pay off some credit cards and improve our credit....then get back into debt. Seems like a viscious cycle no?

Tonight

So it's 12:30am and we've just finished editing down 1gb of photos from a rock show tonight. Cheribum Seat, Chasing Victory, The Showdown, and Showbread. If you don't know who they are, well, um....just go check em out. In the meantime, check out my wife's blog to see what she shot. This is a screenshot of the ones we kept. I am so proud of how well she's doing on her first few shoots. Our good friend David had Col use his canon 28-80mm 2.8 lens, and i can see a huge difference in the quality. I think it really helped given the low light in the concert. Our good friends the Cheribum Seat carried themselves well amongst bigger bands, and we're really proud of them. Tomorrow will be a design day; work on these images and also get a magazine ad done that needs to be proofed monday. Colleen is sleeping on the floor, and Czech is sleeping on the couch next to me; darn they're cute.

Quick entry

So today is going to be a bit crazy. I was supposed to go to lubbock to install a router, which would have been good money. But the little ford focus decided to bust a ball joint (do i sound like i have a clue what that is?). So i'm stuck here in town running around getting other short range stuff done, and hoping that i don't break down here. But if so, at least i'm closer to home.

Poor czech (our dog) has been sick. She had some sort of stomach bug, and the vet gave her all sorts of meds for it. She seems to be feeling better now, so we're greatly relieved (i was getting sick of 4 pills a day!~). Colleen took some pictures of the little girl with her new camera while we were at the park the other day.




Yes, i'm falling on my tail in these pictures. Apparently, our little czech is pretty quick :)

Then she took some pictures of herself





and of me (not that exciting).

But anywho....there you go David, more pictures posted! Keep in mind, she just started using this camera, even though the shots look like she's been doing it for years (no i'm not the least bit biased, she really is good).
Colleen started a blog too, yay! Her url is http://colleenscamera.blogspot.com

This one is pretty cool too

windows es el diablo

"His high estate is as much at our service as was His condition of abasement. He who gave Himself for us in the depths of woe and death, doth not withdraw the grant now that He is enthroned in the highest heavens." c. spurgeon

I am well aware of the service that Christ has done for me in his death and penance. What i too often forget, as do most i would think, is that his Glory is equally available for our service. To the same depth of devotion and willingness as Jesus gave himself up for us in agony, he is able and equally willing to bless us with the glory of Sonship and all the accessories that come with it. But in this instance and all other instances throughout eternity, all these things will be given in ecstasy. How much more joy must it give the Father to give us the great things that he designed for us in the first place, than to give up his Son to pay for not only our sins, but to facilitate a preparation to give us that which truly makes him happiest; closeness with him, and all the blessings that come with that communion.

So yesterday was not a good day. in fact it was possibly the most frustrating day i've had in years. a little background on the day; we took my mom a new apple macbook this past weekend. I was so stoked about it, because she has been using windows. The only downside was that we had to use a program called parallels to actually run windows inside the mac OS so that she could use quickbook premiere (blah). i figured no big deal, and it actually works well.

so we come home (she lives 5 hours away) and she calls me yesterday and says she can't print! parallels is supposed to just transfer the resources from the mac to the "windows" install. so i figured (foolishly), of course the mac will print, so then the windows will too. nope.
apparently there is an existing issue with getting about 1 in 3 printers to work with this program. i spent 5 hours on the phone with my lovely yet somewhat computer illiterate mother trying to fix this problem so she could run her books and print. at one point she was so frustrated that she tried to push back from the desk in her chair to recline, but she had accidentally wrapped the printer cable around the back, and pulled the brand new macbook crashing to the concrete floor. of course it still ran, and functions fine except for the massive dent or crack on the side (i couldn't get an accurate description). of course at this time i had already slammed my phone on the ground (i was sitting on the floor) and broke the flip part. Ya i know, really foolish, but i'll admit i was really frustrated and had a momentary lapse of maturity.

so today will be spent continuing to try to fix the printing, and calling apple care to try to get the case replaced. of course chances are good that they'll just send her a new one, which would be great....except i already spend 20 hours installing all her software and configuring everything to work. and i'll have to go back for another 3 days to do it again.

i hate windows, and i need a snapshot camera to take pictures with...

and i love my family (how cheesy that my dog is included in that)

thanks blaine&bethany

told you

so i said that i wasn't going to make a habit of just regurgitating stuff from my devo for the day.

My wife Colleen, has decided that she really wants to start taking pictures, in a more professional realm. Her perspective is so great, and i really believe in her. I only mention how excited about this i am because we just yesterday ordered her first pro camera. Granted, it's the bottom end of pro cameras, with only a stock basic lens, but i know she'll do amazing things with it, and shortly after she wears it out (which she'll do within a year) we'll get her an even better camera, or at least some better lenses. I am amazed at how expensive lenses are, though not suprised. The amount of artistic width that Colleen will be capable of really excites me so much, and i can't wait to start posting pictures that she has taken!

Today, i have work, almost all day. First thing, i got out of bed and took my lovely Colleen to work; our little czech dog came with. After i got back to the appartment, I read for a bit, drank some coffee and had breakfast, then took a shower.
Victory church was my first stop (where i am consequently sitting at one of their computers as i wait for a backup to finish, and typing this quaint little post).

Once things are finished up here (which there are more than a few) I will pick up Col for lunch, and head home. My next stop will be silverland, where i have to connect a laptop to their network (yipee). Then the bank to get a money order for rent....we're down to the wire this month..hehe.

Tonight, i'll head to the recording studio, mikey and I will knock out some technical junk, playing with really cool guitar gear, and getting beautiful sounds, before practicing with runaway.

Then we'll head home to hang out and watch the office, or heroes, or Lost, or smallville. wow. we might need a life.

i need to post more pictures

i promise this is not a habit

I really don't intend to only post quick dumps of the things i'm reading, but rather to actually divulge what it is that i feel the Lord is teaching me. Since this pertains so closely to what i think the Lord is teaching so many people, either in small or all encompassing ways, i'm just going to leave it to charles spurgeon, once again.

"Thou art my hope in the day of evil." --Jeremiah 17:17 The path of the Christian is not always bright with sunshine; he has his seasons of darkness and of storm. True, it is written in God's Word, "Her ways are ways of pleasantness, and all her paths are peace;" and it is a great truth, that religion is calculated to give a man happiness below as well as bliss above; but experience tells us that if the course of the just be "As the shining light that shineth more and more unto the perfect day," yet sometimes _that_ light is eclipsed. At certain periods clouds cover the believer's sun, and he walks in darkness and sees no light. There are many who have rejoiced in the presence of God for a season; they have basked in the sunshine in the earlier stages of their Christian career; they have walked along the "green pastures" by the side of the "still waters," but suddenly they find the glorious sky is clouded; instead of the Land of Goshen they have to tread the sandy desert; in the place of sweet waters, they find troubled streams, bitter to their taste, and they say, "Surely, if I were a child of God, this would not happen." Oh! say not so, thou who art walking in darkness. The best of God's saints must drink the wormwood; the dearest of His children must bear the cross. No Christian has enjoyed perpetual prosperity; no believer can always keep his harp from the willows. Perhaps the Lord allotted you at first a smooth and unclouded path, because you were weak and timid. He tempered the wind to the shorn lamb, but now that you are stronger in the spiritual life, you must enter upon the riper and rougher experience of God's full-grown children. We need winds and tempests to exercise our faith, to tear off the rotten bough of self-dependence, and to root us more firmly in Christ. The day of evil reveals to us the value of our glorious hope.

Call me lazy, but good is good

I know i did this in the last post i left. But when there is something else that so adequately states anything that you could have desire of conveying, why not?

My wife and I were discussing this not a week ago, so the idea was still fresh on my mind. Charles Spurgeon imparts a calm clear wisdom about death to one in Christ.

"That through death He might destroy him that had the power of death." --Hebrews 2:14 O child of God, death hath lost its sting, because the devil's power over it is destroyed. Then cease to fear dying. Ask grace from God the Holy Ghost, that by an intimate knowledge and a firm belief of thy Redeemer's death, thou mayst be strengthened for that dread hour. Living near the cross of Calvary thou mayst think of death with pleasure, and welcome it when it comes with intense delight. It is sweet to die in the Lord: it is a covenant-blessing to sleep in Jesus. Death is no longer banishment, it is a return from exile, a going home to the many mansions where the loved ones already dwell. The distance between glorified spirits in heaven and militant saints on earth seems great; but it is not so. We are not far from home--a moment will bring us there. The sail is spread; the soul is launched upon the deep. How long will be its voyage? How many wearying winds must beat upon the sail ere it shall be reefed in the port of peace? How long shall that soul be tossed upon the waves before it comes to that sea which knows no storm? Listen to the answer, "Absent from the body, present with the Lord." Yon ship has just departed, but it is already at its haven. It did but spread its sail and it was there. Like that ship of old, upon the Lake of Galilee, a storm had tossed it, but Jesus said, "Peace, be still," and _immediately_ it came to land. Think not that a long period intervenes between the instant of death and the eternity of glory. When the eyes close on earth they open in heaven. The horses of fire are not an instant on the road. Then, O child of God, what is there for thee to fear in death, seeing that through the death of thy Lord its curse and sting are destroyed? and now it is but a Jacob's ladder whose foot is in the dark grave, but its top reaches to glory everlasting.

scarlet chords and soul's windows

This is something that the Lord used to confirm something that my wife had talked about. God is so good in directing us, even when we don't see how or why we receive seemingly pointless direction.

if by obedience i can reach an unseen blessing, and in blessing bless the kingdom; that is a good thing.

"She bound the scarlet line in the window." --Joshua 2:21 Rahab depended for her preservation upon the promise of the spies, whom she looked upon as the representatives of the God of Israel. Her faith was simple and firm, but it was very obedient. To tie the scarlet line in the window was a very trivial act in itself, but she dared not run the risk of omitting it. Come, my soul, is there not here a lesson for thee? Hast thou been attentive to all thy Lord's will, even though some of His commands should seem non-essential? Hast thou observed in his own way the two ordinances of believers' baptism and the Lord's Supper? These neglected, argue much unloving disobedience in thy heart. Be henceforth in all things blameless, even to the tying of a thread, if that be matter of command. This act of Rahab sets forth a yet more solemn lesson. Have I implicitly trusted in the precious blood of Jesus? Have I tied the scarlet cord, as with a Gordian knot in my window, so that my trust can never be removed? Or can I look out towards the Dead Sea of my sins, or the Jerusalem of my hopes, without seeing the blood, and seeing all things in connection with its blessed power? The passer-by can see a cord of so conspicuous a colour, if it hangs from the window: it will be well for me if my life makes the efficacy of the atonement conspicuous to all onlookers. What is there to be ashamed of? Let men or devils gaze if they will, the blood is my boast and my song. My soul, there is One who will see that scarlet line, even when from weakness of faith thou canst not see it thyself; Jehovah, the Avenger, will see it and pass over thee. Jericho's walls fell flat: Rahab's house was on the wall, and yet it stood unmoved; my nature is built into the wall of humanity, and yet when destruction smites the race, I shall be secure. My soul, tie the scarlet thread in the window afresh, and rest in peace.

It's not quite tour again, but i'm in dallas..hehe

As i read this morning about Jesus and his crucifixion; the thing that Spurgeon pointed out to me was that he was, as the psalmist said, "heaped insults upon". The idea occurred to me, to consider wether it was he that was heaped insults upon or the sins that he bore. We as a sinful race hate nothing more than our own sinfulness; especially when it is displayed outside our own bodies.

Do not mistake me for saying that the flawless Lamb of God had somehow become less flawless. The word clearly states that he became the scapegoat for us, that he carried our sins into the wilderness of death. Type and shadow from old testament law (priest confessed the sins of Yisreal onto the head of the "scapegoat" who was in fact to be a flawless lamb, crazy coincidence huh?

So then, in my daily life, as I forget the sacrifice of perfection, and talk of nothing less; i become one of the motly horde who casts insults on the savior. I focus on money or schedules, and prioritize these things over the kingdom that i have sworn to participate in bringing. When I do that, i make a mockery of the sacrifice and more the resurrection of my God.

Dirtier (sp>?)

So my wife and i bought "The Almost" cd yesterday. For those non-scene but still musically oriented people (Lord!; should most envy your position!) Aaron Gillespe from the band "underOath" started a side project called "The Almost", and released it mainly by himself. He played every instrument on the album, save lap-steel on one amazing worship song....well not worship in your run-of-the-mill-accoustic-guitar-four-on-the-floor-U2-wannabe-delay-guitar-while-following-the-formula-for-every-other-worship-song sorta worship...not that there is anything wrong with that mind you..hehe.

Jeremy Enigk, another revolutionary in the rock world sings backup on this song...well to say the least, he does something, but it almost superceedes singing.

lyrics just hit me, so simple and plain as they are..here they are..

========Dirty and Left out=========

Hello, I swear I won't be too long
Hello, I promise I'll be real strong
Wait up, I just wanna tell you
Hold up, why are you still here?

I've been dirtier than you wanna know
I've left earlier than you'll ever know

Why do, you wanna be all listenin' to me
Why do, you spread your arms and tell me I'm free
Why do, you wanna be in my life
In my life

I've been dirtier than you wanna know
I've left earlier than you'll ever know

Jesus, tease us
There's something about your name
Master, saviour, Jesus

I've been dirtier than you wanna know
I've left earlier than you'll ever know
Jesus
Jesus

========

I love honesty.
my wife bought me a scanner :)
i'm designing a billboard.
and a cd.
and a poster.
and fixing my blasted xbox media center so it will play music without freaking skipping every five seconds!
and taking my wife to lunch at one o clock.
and wondering why in all their glory, apple put out an airport product that will skip music, and foul up printing (or rather why i'm not smart enough to figure out what to do to fix it completely).

Never spoke a man; and never speak a word.;

"He answered him to never a word." --Matthew 27:14 He had never been slow of speech when He could bless the sons of men, but He would not say a single word for Himself. "Never man spake like this Man," and never man was silent like Him.
Spurgeon's Morning and Evening

When Pilate asked Jesus to make some defense for the accusations brought against him, his silence was deafening. He had spoken all he was told to speak by the Father, so he was silent. Wasting no words, and holding nothing back from punishment, the creator silently took on the consequence of all sins. With no contention, beauty wore disgrace and put it to better use than ever designed, to put it away.

God is ever resolved, both in his nature and his methods. He will always speak to the point, and then be silent. Though his silence is near deafening in it's effect. In Hosea 5:15, after the Lord has spoken through his prophet about the nations of Isreal and Judah warning of their error, he withdraws. In the end it seems that the Lord is silent because his meaning is to clear for words. In verse 15 "I will return again to my place Till they acknowledge their offense. Then They will seek My face; in their affliction they will earnestly seek me."

It's beautiful to me how the Lord shows us his nature strong, but on further contemplation we realize the tender heart and selfless love he has for us. It gives me security in knowing the resolved passion our Father had to speak beauty and then to show beauty. Even now, we are revealed new things about his carachter every day, if we will look and listen.

callousness

I read this great devotion book each day (not near as much time as i'd like to spend, but i'm getting there:)
charles spurgeon says this...

By degrees men get familiar with sin. The ear in which the cannon has been booming will not notice slight sounds.

so what that says falls on deaf ears for so much of what we understand through our flesh. However, while i was sitting and reading this with the time to digest it a bit, i find that i have friends who fall into that category, not to mention myself as well. Friends are mentioned because of the obvious clarity of secondhand behaviour, entirely unlike the realization that the employment of such attitudes on my own part. Funny how we don't pay as much attention to our slidings until they begin to glare at us from the reflection of others.

The thing that sticks out to me more than anything is the words that proceed from our mouths. Matthew 12:34-37:~Offspring of vipers! How can you, being evil, speak good things? For out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks. 35 A good man out of the good treasure of the heart brings out good things; and an evil man out of the evil treasure brings out evil things. 36 But I say to you that every idle word, whatever men may speak, they shall give account of it in the day of judgment. 37 For by your words you shall be justified, and by your words you shall be condemned. Jesus tells the "righteous" of that age that they are the offspring of snakes (allusion to the fall of man; a snake coaxed eve to eat the apple, much as they coaxed the Hebrew people of that age to eat the "fruit" of a spirit of religion which promises self justification) and that they cannot speak good things. The key to what he said was not towards the "snakes" but to those of us whom the snakes will try to speak through the rest of history. A concept emerges; from the overflow of what's in your heart, you speak those things. If what is on your heart is good, then the words you speak are good, but otherwise the words you speak are evil.

I have realized a trend amongst the more "grace filled" spirit filled christians. They speak of the greater things in the more magnanimous moments, but in a more casual setting, they are less likely to seem so. From the "smaller" words that would perk the ears of a child to more drastic expletives that honestly make my heart hurt. Sounding so righteous in pointing these things out is a farce, because how often my heart speaks the same malice at far less provocation. The awareness of this folly can be viewed in one of two ways that i'm aware of. One, that the vice has always existed and only in a certain level of spiritual maturity does it become realized, the other is that it is just an attack of the enemy. The problem with the former is that had it always existed, in a lack of maturity that which was underneath would have revealed itself unhindered. So that leaves me with what would appear only the attack option. Then i remember that I have not spent the time that i did before with the Lord everyday. In fact the onslaught on my mind really began about that time. So it is really that the attack was there all along, but before, my mind was renewed everyday (romans 12). I must be with the Lord or the nature of the flesh seems to prevail even if it's limited to my thought life, because the word says that sin is in the mind. James 1:15 speaks of desire or lust conceiving and giving birth to sin, then warns us not to be fooled that only good things can come from the heart of God. How then could the mind of the spirit give us foul desires. They just as all other temptations are not of God.

The justification of "grace" will not hold water as a scapegoat for any of us. Later in James 1:26, the write warns that if any of us thinks that we are righteous, or religious in the pure sense, that we ought to bridle our tounge. I believe that no man is "released" to speak things that ought not be spoken by a lover of the Lord. I wish that the Lord would tell me when these things cross my heart "Do you kiss your God with that heart?" If proskuneo (worship) is greek for "to kiss towards" then how can we offer a worshipful heart to our father that has spoken out of malice so consistently? No worse though to offer the kiss of worship with lips that have spoken things unworthy of a saint.

The whole of creeping sin is above those threats that we think we should be keeping a watchful eye on. The decline of righteousness is the cancer that is eating at our society, and our "progressive church" at times breaches "progress" beyond that of the spirit of the Word of God.

I truly believe in excellence to our God, that as we offer our minds and our bodies, we should completely submit each to the desires of his heart. This and only this can guard us against any moral decline, or paradigm shift in callousness. I should only hope that i'm the only one who has difficulty with managing my time in this regard, but suspicion says no.

Wake up O Sleeper

As i read this morning in Ephesians, (the Lord told me yesterday to read Eph 5) some things stuck out to me.
Starting in verse 3;
3 Don't let sexual sin, perversion of any kind, or greed even be mentioned among you. This is not appropriate behavior for God's holy people. 4 It's not right that dirty stories, foolish talk, or obscene jokes should be mentioned among you either. Instead, give thanks [to God].

and then again starting in verse 10
"Determine which things please the Lord. 11 Have nothing to do with the useless works that darkness produces. Instead, expose them for what they are. 12 It is shameful to talk about what some people do in secret. 13 Light exposes the true character of everything 14 because light makes everything easy to see. That's why it says: "Wake up, sleeper! Rise from the dead, and Christ will shine on you." 15 So then, be very careful how you live. Don't live like foolish people but like wise people. 16 Make the most of your opportunities because these are evil days. 17 So don't be foolish, but understand what the Lord wants."

Only then after making clear his heart for purity and for righteousness does the more familiar phrase "Wake up, sleeper!" come from the lips of the Lord. I have often thought of these things in reference to black and white, along with the more majestic imagery of those of us who have been redeemed vs: those who have not. But when you get past the sexual sin stigmas we have managed to build to make ourselves feel like we've arrived at some level of righteousness before unattained by saints who risked far more than morning coffee to strive for the image of the likeness of Christ, you might find that "sexual sin, and perversion of any kind, or greed" seem quite glaring and obvious. However, if I think (much less pray) about these things, I realize that they are so much more common than we want to think. Perversion of any kind, includes not just sexual perversion, which is a skewing of something holy and righteous but all other flavors of perversion as well. By that token, comittment to a ministry for the kingdom of God could be perverted if taken out of the context of not just God's will, but his WAY. If i were to focus all my heart on my external ministry for the kingdom of God, but neglect in the slightest, my Wife, and my home; that is just as much perversion as the lewdest sexual sin.

When the word says later in the same passage to walk circumspectly (in the KJV, the above is from the ESV translation) as it is defined in strong's greek, "akribos ak-ree-boce' adverb from the same as 196; exactly:--circumspectly, diligently, perfect(-ly)." The part that sticks out to me is the one about dilligently, PERFECTLY". Seems like a high call, and it is. From the beginning of scripture God has asked that we be Holy, because he is holy. Through the Grace of Christ we're enabled to do all things righteous, because we are given already "according as His divine power has given to us all things that pertain to life and godliness, through the knowledge of Him who has called us to glory and virtue" II Peter 1:3.

morning coffee with my wife

Charles Spurgeon said,
"Jesus! the life of all our joys. If there be one name more charming, more precious than another, it is this name. It is woven into the very warp and woof of our psalmody. Many of our hymns begin with it, and scarcely any, that are good for anything, end without it. It is the sum total of all delights. It is the music with which the bells of heaven ring; a song in a word; an ocean for comprehension, although a drop for brevity; a matchless oratorio in two syllables; a gathering up of the hallelujahs of eternity in five letters. "Jesus, I love Thy charming name, 'Tis music to mine ear."

What worshipper of God would not be laid out by such an accurate description of the Savior? My heart swells at the reading of the excerpt above, and I feel like the Sprit has breathed a new life in me by the remembrance of his heart, and that which he's given me. I look at my life now, and it's so much different than it was a year ago. Last year at this time I was focused on booking tours and working on band stuff. I was oblivious to what was going on later that year. So now fast forward, i'm married to an amazingly beautiful woman who loves the Lord and me. Settled down? Nope...hehe, she is what kinda keeps me from settling down. Her encouragement just musters my desire to get to the place which the Lord has called me to be.

My largest desire lately has been to get back into the groove of my old schedule, but it has occurred to me that it might not be where i'm supposed to be. Now i'm looking to be where my new schedule is. There is a lot of getting settled into married life as far as schedule and routine. I really want to be more regular doing my blogging and journal. I normally write in a text file about really personal stuff, and i'm struggling with wether to make this my only writing source. I figure i could just protect the posts that i would normally put in my other journal.

Colleen and i were talking about something this morning and it reminded me of Romans 8, so as we were reading it something really stuck out to me. Starting in verse 31"31 What then shall we say to these things? If God is for us, who can be against us? 32 Truly He who did not spare His own Son, but delivered Him up for us all, how shall He not with Him also freely give us all things? 33 Who shall lay anything to the charge of God's elect? It is God who justifies.". With marriage being the new position and the major target for any attacks, the concept of being not only God's elect but also that no force can lay anything to our charge, to accuse of failure or inadequacy. I just love the tenderness of the Spirit of God, in the way he constantly courts our hearts to turn to him in greater ways.

Creativity and current work

I'm starting work on some new projects. Mostly all design work, some CD art, and some commercial stuff, as well as artwork for one of my musical projects upcoming live recording. Can't really talk about it a whole lot right now, but it's going to be pretty sick I hope. My lovely wife has been more than muse in the creativity; more like i'm the muse and she's the creativity. Colleen came up with the album title, and the whole concept for the design. She pretty much see's the whole thing in her head, so i'm hoping to be able to fulfill her creativity in the design. It should be fairly easy because she is fantastic at telling me what she wants designwise, she is learning to just lay it out herself in illustrator, and she's already fairly proficient in photoshop (my wife is freakin brilliant!) so i'm looking forward to doing a lot deeper team work, and splitting projects up between us. She's so much fun to work with.

I feel so blessed with all the stuff going on. We're waiting anxiously to see our wedding pictures. They should be up soon, and everyone can go check them out. In the meantime, our friend courtney wilkerson took some snapshots at the wedding. She's a great upcoming photographer, and has a fantastic eye! Check out the unedited snapshots she took here.
Thomas and Colleen's wedding snapshots, courtesy of courtney wilkerson photography
Also we just got the wedding slideshow up....and wow! Check it!!

Here are some of the designs that i've been working on lately....
View Full SizeMDA Toast to life benefit program cover. This is the one they chose to use.


View Full Size (a good idea, lots of eye candy)Wow, i should call this psychosis, but it's the inside of a hardcore band's CD artwork. I preferred a different version, but well....i can't find it so I guess we'll just have to do some looking?

So obviously i couldn't find it, but there are lots of other projects worth looking at. We took some cool pictures recently and i figure those will be something worth looking at, since i don't want to just dump this post with no other eye candy. so .....

This is a tattoo that i designed for my brother Chase, the first is the illustrated file, the second is a mock up of what it would look like.

This is a freakin sweet picture that we took at the refuge the other night. My lovely wife cropped it and did some quick adjustments on it. She's pretty brilliant:)

So this picture has a freakin hilarious story behind it! We were driving down the street across from Avondale Elementary School, and Colleen said "That is awesome, the lamp is hanging in the tree." So sure enough there was a lamp hanging in this tree. So we stopped to take a picture. Here I am standing 2 feet off the street shooting pictures. This redneck-tastic guy comes out of the house and starts yelling at me; "Get the f**k out of my G*d da#m yard!" So i start to appologize and explain that i just liked the lamp in the tree and was taking a picture of it. To which he replied (without hearing hardly a word that i said, "Take it then! Take the F*%^#ing lamp, just get the f*$k out of my F#$%ing yard". So again i started to explain, but stopped short when i realized that his IQ was lower than my aperture setting on the camera...hehe, and just got in the car and left. Funny enough, we're going to use the lamp in some CD artwork for Marcus Dawes. I think i'll mail him a copy with a thank you note...hehe.

Just FYI, this post has been edited over the course of 2 weeks...i'm really bad about getting this stuff done. But that is part of my resolution for the new married life. Be more regular with this stuff.